Monday, February 21, 2011

Some older poems.

Since I am not able to write a new poem, I figured I'd post some older ones. These two are my favorite dark ones....

Slip into something more comfortable 
slip into my skin and then you will see all the bad things I've been
Well this is my world (It's sad and it's true)
Everyone is welcome, there is room for you too
There is not much to eat but there is plenty to see
If you are looking for pain, well just follow me
If you are looking for hate look in your own soul and you will see yourself losing control
If you are looking for fear, well, there is plenty, my dear
In my own world, you'll live in your nightmares
If you are feeling confused, just call it abuse
My world chewed you up and is taking its dues
And if you are looking for that one thing that we call  "love"
well, we decided to  it's best just to leave it above
It will hamper the operations and riff raff of my world
It will rip us apart and leave us unfurled...
We are better off anyways 
without that painful way of pushing through every day 
with the hope of love to save you from another day of pain
....so much pain...
Some come on!
Let's forget that awful malfunction of the human mind
Let's make connections of our own kind
Through  your hate and your pain 
confusion and sin
In my world the bad guys always win!
(Yet....
in the end...
My one true friend is neither my hate or my fear
nor my sin...
It is sadness mixed with guilt and regret
There is one pain you will pray you never get...
sometimes...
I wish for love though it belongs to the world up above
It has no place here my dark world
Yet...
My heart is empty... 
I feel so alone as I sit so piously on my golden throne
There is not hope for me
This much I've known...)
So come on!
Let's forget that awful malfunction of the human mind 
Let's make connections of our own kind
Through your hat and your pain
confusion and sin
In my own world the bad guys always win!

______________________________________
Hanging  from this noose 
I fashioned keeping my sanity 
on the shelf 
Pushing myself to the end
This rope becomes my friend
Cradles me and hold me close
as I become another ghost
Swings me gently as I snap
Watches me slipping into the trap
Sees me writhe in the silky web
Watches my memories....
.....away they ebb
The night begins to overcome the day
As I begin to fade away
______________________________________________






I stopped to see your face, hoping you'd be crying
I saw you smile and I started to die..........

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Unfinished poems, FINISHED!

A certain darling man wrote me and said he had edited and added to my unfinished poems I recently posted.....


If I ever had the right answers to your awkwardly placed questions,

I pray I can tell you all though you'll just forget them.

If I can't sing the right notes, or words get caught in my throat
I hope you see the thoughts in my eyes.

If I manage to make you smile wide,
I hope you'll let it linger long enough to capture it in my mind.

If I ever seem to stare too long, or my grip is far too strong,
I pray you know I'm barely hanging on.

If I reach out and I am only able to touch your hand,
I hope you know you touch my heart.

If I can only show you one thing,
I pray you can you can see what I see.

A rare and priceless treasure is what you are.
__________________________________________

Burning, smolder, rubble and ash.
Walking slow and picking up the pieces.
-alone
Trying to remember, trying to forget.
Wishing I had a drink to wash it all away.
-hurting
Words you said come back to me through the rustle of the wind.
Confusion suddenly trickles away, stinging on my skin.
-sobbing
You seem to drift away, coming back to lead me on.
Only when I'm falling once again do I realize you're gone.
-longing
You're only good for one thing, and babe it isn't me.
I can't seem to move on even though you say I'm free.
-chained
shackled to a past that I never should have had
walking a path that i chose for me
-downcast
i raise my eyes, looking for a reason to continue
scanning the horizons for just a glimpse of you
-lost
i can only sit on the side of the path and cry out
my only choice is to wait for the end to come

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Tahrea talks about communication......

I found myself musing a very common subject tonight, a subject near and dear to just about everyone. And I think that I was pondering said subject because it relates with Company and Hallmark created our upcoming holiday which feeds on it. Yes, I am talking about... Relationships. More specifically, communication in relationships. People existing, interacting, and connecting with other people. It is an amazing concept for some. I mean, think about your latest relationship, how it was formed, how you feel about that person, etc. Are they your friend? Significant other? Puppet? Fling? Worst enemy? How do you communicate with them? DO you communicate with them? See, as I've gotten older I have found that communication is key to a successful relationship, no matter how you are relating to the other person. And, MAN, have I seen some great relationships fail because of miscommunication. It's not just cheating or lying; it's being passive-aggressive or evasive. It's also avoiding certain subjects for various reasons. I would love to see a relationship where both people were direct and they knew where the other stood. Imagine the answers to questions like, "Does my hair look alright?" "What do you want for dinner?" "Does this dress make me look fat?" "What do you think?" I feel that everyone time someone responds to one of those questions (and more) with the response that they think the other wants to hear and it is NOT the response that originally popped in their head, there has to be a little bitterness. You did not tell that person what you thought. You did not give your own answer. You pulled a tried-and-true response out of your hat and handed them this line they have programmed you to use. Honestly, if I ask someone about my appearance, and they give a less-than-satisfied response, I thank them and I change. Yeah, it sucks that the outfit I picked out didn't go over the way I had hoped. HOWEVER, that other person just gave me an honest answer and it was THEIR answer. I can trust this person to answer more serious questions later if need be.
Folks need to just lay it all out for all involved in the relationship. Obviously when we hear the word "relationship" we think about a couple, so I'll use the archetype of the male/female dating relationship. I have come to think that these two people need to flat out tell the other person what they expect from the relationship and what they expect from their partner. I'm serious. I personally am sick of wondering what the other person thinks about me, where they see the relationship going, etc. If both of you aren't working towards the same goals, you aren't going to end on happy ground. Just lay it out. "I want to date." "I want to get married." "I want to be friends." "I want to get laid." "I am using you to get to your sister." "I like you but I don't want to commit to one person." "I don't know what I want from this relationship." Communication, man. And DO NOT use sex as a form of communication. Don't use it at all. Sleeping around or moving from sexual partner to sexual partner is not a good thing. There is nothing good about it. Sure it seems "fun" for a while, but you can't honestly keep telling yourself this is what you want. If there is seriously someone out there who has NO problem sleeping around with as many people possible for the rest of their life, I feel sorry for them. I truly do. There is no true fulfillment in an empty life like that.

Ok, I'm going to hop off of my soapbox now, partly due to the fact that my eyes are crossing from exhaustion.   I'm just saying... Talk. Don't hold back because of fear or anger or pity. If you love or, in any case, respect that other person, you need to communicate. As humans I feel that is the most minute respect we can give each other.

Monday, February 7, 2011

GAH! Another one......

Through the tears and the madness we seem to find ourselves, but lose each other.
We reach out and receive an empty handshake.
We pursue relationships that end in misery. 
You smoke a cloud to lift you away.
I drink to wash you from my mind.
We smile for some reason, no longer able to remember joy.
Others say we'll work it out.
I tell and joke and you look away.
I can't see your face and you forget my voice.
We've forged our pain and stained our hearts.
Together we are apart. 

Poems for which I can't find an ending....

Sometimes this happens: I start writing a poem, thinking I'm on to something and then.... nothing. My inspiration vanishes. Argh.


If I ever had the right answers to your awkwardly placed questions,
I pray I can tell you all though you'll just forget them.

If I can't sing the right notes, or words get caught in my throat
I hope you see the thoughts in my eyes.




If I manage to make you smile wide,


I hope you'll let it linger long enough to capture it in my mind.


If I ever seem to stare too long, or my grip is far too strong,
I pray you know I'm barely hanging on.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Burning, smolder, rubble and ash.
Walking slow and picking up the pieces.
Trying to remember, trying to forget.
Wishing I had a drink to wash it all away.
Words you said come back to me through the rustle of the wind.
Confusion suddenly trickles away, stinging on my skin.
You seem to drift away, coming back to lead me on.
Only when I'm falling once again do I realize you're gone.
You're only good for one thing, and babe it isn't me.
I can't seem to move on even though you say I'm free.