Death is a cruel reality

I cannot express the pain that everyone feels when losing  a loved one. Everyone deals with it differently. As I stood in that hospital room surrounded by my aunt, uncles, and mother, along with most of their children and spouses, I felt mixed emotions. We all sat around my grandfather's body as it rested in his bed. We all cried at different intervals. I kept looking at my grandmother, who hadn't shed a tear. I know she will cry, and perhaps she already has. I just haven't seen it. I bawled. I couldn't help it. It is still a pain that I will have to cope with for some time. Grief is a terrible thing. I became more heart broken as my uncle Mike arrived with his family in tow. The three youngsters still have yet to grasp the harsh concept of death and loss, but my darling seven year old cousin Madison has recently become acquainted with it. Upon arrival, she was red faced and watery-eyed. My goal was to help her understand what would be happening this evening and what had happened to grandpa. It took her an hour to muster up the.... strength? Courage? I don't know what it was..... the... whatever to actually look at grandpa. The five year old, Grace, repeated her father's simplistic means of helping and said, "He just looks like he's sleeping, Madison." in her adorable lispy speech. I made several phone calls and received a multitude of texts messages over the course of the evening. We all did. I watched mom and uncle Rich both check their phones as much as I did. Man, Death is a cruel reality.
As I sit here now, alone with the exception of the sleeping form of my seven year old cousin stretched across my love seat, I relive that fresh pain of knowing my grandfather is gone and my grandmother has lost her husband and best friend. Part of me wishes I knew how she felt and what she was thinking. The other part of me wishes to never know, as it must be an emotion far worse than my own, which is terrible and heartbreaking as it is. Tomorrow, mom, Junia, and I will go over to my grandparents'-my grandmother's- and we shall begin the process of whatever it is one does during this time. I am almost terrified of what will happen over the next few days. I only know that I will say goodbye to my grandfather this week, and that is one awful conclusion. I wish everyone I know and everyone who reads this could have known John Dodrill and how wonderful he truly was. There will never be another person like him.
The viewing is Wednesday 2-4 and 6-8 at the Oliver-Cheek Funeral Home in Ashville. The Funeral is Thursday at 10 AM at the Village Chapel in Ashville. He will then be buried in Vinton County near his parents.

God bless you Grandpa.