Inflation, deflation, inflammation, and pride

   I am dealing with challenges in almost every facet of my life. I know that as humans in general, we all go through ups and downs. My life has just decided to take a couple of months' worth of time and coast on down hill, with few peaks but several turns and loops. That's just how it feels. Part of me feels I am just allowing the negative aspects of my daily life bog me down so much that I can't lift my head long enough to enjoy the positive things.

    What is so hard to admit is that I am learning, which means that the things that are frustrating me are kinda beneficial. Through the struggle of a (too) long distance relationship, I am learning to appreciate the time I have with my beloved. I am also learning to be patient for things to fall into place so that we can reach our goals together. SO painful. Another painful lesson I am learning is humility. As an actor, I am in a constant battle within myself to, well, not be so.... arrogant. It is a terrible and ugly (albeit not so surprising) truth, but most actors have a certain level of what I call "awareness and pride of one's abilities." Great euphemism, right? Well, within the past year, I had planned with one of my dear theatre friends, a director, to do a production with a local theatre company. This production was to be a pivotal one in which I was to have the lead role. I studied this play- read (AND edited) the script, and listened to a recording of the script. I advertised about the production via word of mouth and facebook. The director (We'll call him Fred) has asked me to co-produce the production as well, so I had started recruiting actors, attempting to gather a stellar cast. And then... disaster. Through email correspondence, I found that Fred had to pull out from this production due to personal reasons. Because of this, the board enforced the rule that everyone who wanted to be involved in the production had to audition. I had no stake, no claim. Every stitch of work was dissolved and diminished. I was furious and hurt. I had received no forewarning on Fred's situation and decision before receiving any of the emails. I was/am forced to realize that our brain child and growing creation was/is no longer ours. After this initial shock, I then began a strain of thoughts: I am no longer guaranteed this role. I have to audition for it, along with whomever else will hear about it within the next few months. This theatre company may have something against me or Fred for this entire situation, which means I probably have a snowball's chance in Arizona to get this part, which means I am most assuredly doomed to spend that time I set aside (keep in mind that I based my entire year around this production) miserable, knowing that I wasn't good enough to get the role I was originally promised. (Along with arrogance, a lot of actors are bogged down by low self-esteem. This girl is no exception.) Embittered, I allowed these thoughts to spin and whirl around, leading me to thoughts of arrogance, appalled at the thought that someone would think that I, of ALL PEOPLE, would be less than perfect for this role. GIRL, PLEASE! After these moments of stricken pride, I had a realization that hurt worse. For years I have criticized theatres that run on favoritism, nepotism, and exclusivity. In these theatres, there is no "community" but rather a secluded commune of people who are self-centered and focused more on stroking egos and satisfying their own needs than educating and including the general public. I realized that by being given this role and by collecting a cast of the past year, rather than potentially winning the director over with my honest audition, I risked being chastised and receiving the same criticisms. Fred and I decided on this production together and he immediately instated me as the lead role. I didn't work for it. My ego was stroked. I was puffed up more than a marshmallow in the microwave. And then I popped like a balloon against a textured ceiling. 

*sigh* Even though my BIG moment was potentially ripped away from me (hyperbole... kinda), I feel better knowing that if I am cast in the desired role, it will be because I earned it. And, after the dramatic "woe is me" mentality faded away, I was able to realize that the studying and line memorizing I drilled myself through over the past year will help me when it comes time to go through the sides during the audition. HEY! Was that a positive thought I just had? :o)

The greatest ministry tool ever!

Are you having trouble winning souls?

 Is your tabernacle a bit empty?

 And don't you just hate those vacant spots  in the pews? 

Are the old ministry gimmicks just not cutting it?

DON'T FEAR! 

I HAVE A SOLUTION!

HATE! 

Yes, HATE! 

Hate is a tried and true method, fail-proof and solid. 

Got an ornery Buddhist worshiping an Elephant? 
Throw a rock in his face!

Boys holding hands with other boys?
OFF with their heads! 

Non-denominational?
Pick a side, brother! 

Hate your enemy! Be mean to those who mistreat you! 

Kill the sinner, hate the sin!

You'll be winning sheep to your flock in no time!

HATEHATEHATE!

What would Jesus do? 

Don't be a Nancy boy! Hate them all!

Other people claim that goodness and love win others over. I say SHUT UP! 

Hate!

Act now, and you can throw in IGNORANCE and CLOSE-MINDEDNESS! 

My relationship with Harry Potter OR It's all over

*Before you pass judgement or decide to call me out on my sin of liking J.K. Rowling's works, hear me out. I love the books and the movies. If you are just going to condemn me or nitpick, don't bother. I don't care.*

In 1997 the first Harry Potter Book came out. I was in middle school. I remember the first time I heard of HP. I was in 7th grade and our Math teacher was trying to find something to fill time for the class (I think we had all finished a test early or something), and a classmate pulled out his copy of Sorcerer's Stone for her to read. After the first few moments of the book had been read, I wanted to continue the story. The problem was I lived in a household that did not approve of such literature. Books about witchcraft weren't the sort of thing a christian family allowed into their household. SO, I read the book at school, in the library. 

Later on in the year (It may have even been my 8th grade year), I finally broke down and started talking with mom on the subject of Harry Potter and his life. Mom agreed to allowing me to read the stories only if she read them with me. That winter started something major in the Maynard household- we became hooked. We took to taking turns reading chapters to each other, Junia included. We even got the books on tape so we could listen to them throughout the day. We went to each release party the local Wal-mart had when each of the books came out. We watched all of the movies, and then later owned them. All of this continued for years until the final book came out. I remember reading the last chapter of the seventh book, closing the back cover late at night, and bawling that it was over. After that, I decided to keep my chin up since I still had the final movies to watch. 

...

And then there was yesterday. I woke up almost 24 hours ago and got ready for work, knowing I was about to finish something that started over 10 years ago. When we sat down in the theatre and began to watch the movie, I almost couldn't breathe. Things I read a few years ago came flooding back. The story line, the characters, the twists and surprises, everything. Then.... credits. It was over. A piece of my childhood, something that has stretched across my life, was completely. Over. When we walked out of the theatre and to the car, I bawled again. These stories. Sure, they were fiction, but I connected with them and the characters. I cried and laughed for them. I stayed up til the wee hours because I couldn't stop turning the pages. These stories were a huge part of my life. And now they are complete. And I am so sad. And exhausted from lack of sleep and crying. lol, I felt like a dork for crying, but I'll stand by it. This was a wonderful part of my younger life and I will always be grateful to J.K. Rowling for giving me and rest of the world such a wonderful gift. 

Vegetarian: One Year Strong OR Who wants a flower on their head?!

A few days ago I reached a major goal- I had officially survived a year of being a vegetarian. Wow. To some this may not seem like a big deal, but I'm not "some." I knew I could do it and I wanted to do it, so I'm surprised. I'm excited now. During the past year I learned different ways of cooking, healthier eating habits, and replacements for various dishes that originally call for meat. Utilizing advice from vegetarian and vegan friends and the infinite wisdom of the internet, I discovered new restaurants and menu options.
I'll admit that it wasn't always easy and not everyone was supportive of my decision. Dinner with family proved to be a challenge from time to time. I can see why people dislike vegetarians; cooking a regular dinner can be hard enough, but if a vegetarian is coming to the table you have to be sure you have something they can eat too. Not everyone in my family has been so accommodating. Or they've complained, which is always a morale boost. However, I didn't let things get me down, and I kept at it. I lost a significant amount of weight and I physically felt better. I made a decision that was improving me and my life, and for that reason I'll stick with it for the rest of my life. :o)

Ok, so if you follow me on twitter or are friends with me on facebook there is not way to could avoid seeing at least one post of these flower hair accessories that I've been creating. And you are probably asking, "Why?" Honestly? When I went to Comfest on Friday there were booths and booths and booths selling nick-knacks and hair pieces of all kinds. I looked at D.J. and said, "I could do that." I mean, folks were making a serious mint off of these things. So I set out Saturday and went to a few different stores and gathered up some crafting supplies and went to work. Thus far I've made 20+ flower arrangements, attaching them to barrettes, clips, and headbands. Yesterday I posted a few of them on Ebay in hopes that I might sell them online. I am now going to start looking into craft shows and find one that is near with a cheap booth rental and see if I can't sell some there. I've set the price at $3.50. I figured that was fair considering some of the folks at Comfest were selling theirs for $5-$8. SO, we'll see what comes of this venture.... :o)

It's Not Enough to Say I Love You

As he held her close she knew that he loved her.
As he stroked her hair,
he knew he couldn't keep her much longer.
Suddenly it seemed, too quickly gone...
And suddenly, as the moon light shone,
she felt him sigh as she pulled away
and she knew he didn't know what to say...
"You'll never truly know how I feel
when others ask me if it's real,
if this feeling is fleeting or true.
It's not enough just to say I love you.
Though the moon may not shine,
though we've limited time...
No matter how our life goes,
I'll never stop until the whole world knows...
They'll always ask me if it's fleeting or true
because it's not enough to say I love you."
With a kiss on her cheek and a smile on his face,
he sighed again as she pulled into his embrace...
"It doesn't matter that we can't stop time.
It doesn't matter if sun or moon don't shine.
I really don't care if the world tries to bring me down...
You keep me soaring though I'm standing on solid ground.
No matter what we may go through...
You're right...
It's not enough to say I love you."

JC’s Garage Intro Video Script: First Draft

JC’s Garage Intro Video

 VOICEOVER:

Are you tired of feeling sluggish?

(ZOMBIE-ESQUE YOUTH nods and yawns)

 Unsure of your life’s path?

(YOUTH scratches head while reading a “map” of different life directions)

 Do you feel a nagging emptiness right about where your soul should be?

(YOUTH pats torso, while another YOUTH looks around.)

YOUTH  # 1:

I feel empty.

YOUTH # 2 (Frantic):
I think I lost my soul!

VOICEOVER:

Got a case of the Lamentations?

(YOUTH(s) stand(s) crying like a baby)

VOICEOVER:

 Then you need to come on down to the new JC’S GARAGE! JC’s Garage specializes in Soul Restoration, Repair, and Renewal, all catered to your specific needs.

Don’t let the world weigh you down! “Isaiah 40:31” it and soon you’ll be soaring like an eagle *WARNING: RESULTS MAY VERY. TYPICAL REPAIRS RESULT IN A GOOD, CLEAN, LIGHT FEELING. SUBJECTS WILL NOT SPROUT WINGS.*

Turn that frown upside down with Psalm 118:24!

YOUTH to “Lamentations” YOUTH:

This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

“Lamentations” YOUTH (abruptly stops crying):

Ok!

(YOUTHS start dancing)

VOICEOVER:

JC’s Garage! Visit our website at www.jcsgarage.com, or just come on in Sundays 6 pm-8pm. With every visit you’ll receive New Friends

(picture of “friends),

Free Snacks

(Picture of “snacks”),

Awesome Music

(picture of worship team?),

and a word from GOD!

(Picture of God)

JC’S GARAGE!

JC's Garage: Soul Restoration and Repair Services

Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version, ©2011)

   ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Romans 5:10
(NLT) For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.

(GWT) If the death of his Son restored our relationship with God while we were still his enemies, we are even more certain that, because of this restored relationship, the life of his Son will save us.

As the more dramatic (lol) youth leader at church I was asked to start working on scripts for so video scripts for the kids to do for some promo stuff and just for fun. :o) I was really excited to start... and then I actually started. I sat down and thought and read and thought some more. Gah! It's painful sometimes, thinking. I mean, talking with other leaders and looking at the website, I kept hearing the words "soul restoration." So I googled scriptures on restoration or being restored. Funny thing, I kept find Psalm 23. "He restoreth my soul." 

Then I read Jeremiah 30:

 ¹² “This is what the LORD says:

   “‘Your wound is incurable,
   your injury beyond healing.
¹³ There is no one to plead your cause,
   no remedy for your sore,
   no healing for you.
¹⁴ All your allies have forgotten you;
   they care nothing for you.
I have struck you as an enemy would
   and punished you as would the cruel,
because your guilt is so great
   and your sins so many.
¹⁵ Why do you cry out over your wound,
   your pain that has no cure?
Because of your great guilt and many sins
   I have done these things to you.

 ¹⁶ “‘But all who devour you will be devoured;
   all your enemies will go into exile.
Those who plunder you will be plundered;
   all who make spoil of you I will despoil.
¹⁷ But I will restore you to health
   and heal your wounds,’
            declares the LORD,
‘because you are called an outcast,
   Zion for whom no one cares.’

BOOM! And then I read Jeremiah 21:1-14. This is what happens when God makes good on his promise(s):

Jeremiah 31

 ¹ “At that time,” declares the LORD, “I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they will be my people.”

 ² This is what the LORD says:

   “The people who survive the sword
   will find favor in the wilderness;
   I will come to give rest to Israel.”

 ³ The LORD appeared to us in the past,^[a] saying:

   “I have loved you with an everlasting love;
   I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
⁴ I will build you up again,
   and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt.
Again you will take up your timbrels
   and go out to dance with the joyful.
⁵ Again you will plant vineyards
   on the hills of Samaria;
the farmers will plant them
   and enjoy their fruit.
⁶ There will be a day when watchmen cry out
   on the hills of Ephraim,
‘Come, let us go up to Zion,
   to the LORD our God.’”

 ⁷ This is what the LORD says:

   “Sing with joy for Jacob;
   shout for the foremost of the nations.
Make your praises heard, and say,
   ‘LORD, save your people,
   the remnant of Israel.’
⁸ See, I will bring them from the land of the north
   and gather them from the ends of the earth.
Among them will be the blind and the lame,
   expectant mothers and women in labor;
   a great throng will return.
⁹ They will come with weeping;
   they will pray as I bring them back.
I will lead them beside streams of water
   on a level path where they will not stumble,
because I am Israel’s father,
   and Ephraim is my firstborn son.

 ¹⁰ “Hear the word of the LORD, you nations;
   proclaim it in distant coastlands:
‘He who scattered Israel will gather them
   and will watch over his flock like a shepherd.’
¹¹ For the LORD will deliver Jacob
   and redeem them from the hand of those stronger than they.
¹² They will come and shout for joy on the heights of Zion;
   they will rejoice in the bounty of the LORD—
the grain, the new wine and the olive oil,
   the young of the flocks and herds.
They will be like a well-watered garden,
   and they will sorrow no more.
¹³ Then young women will dance and be glad,
   young men and old as well.
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
   I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
¹⁴ I will satisfy the priests with abundance,
   and my people will be filled with my bounty,”
            declares the LORD.

So now I have a good idea for a script. Actually I have a good couple of ideas. :o) The greatest thing is I'm studying this stuff in a time where I am down a bit. It is reassuring to know that whatever negativity is sent my way, whether allowed by God or otherwise, I am promised that it is temporary as long as I am faithful. Woot!
Okie, now I have to actually write the script(s), lol.