Another time of mourning...

Due to a completely unrelated and completely ridiculous string of events, I did not feel the least bit compelled to answer the phone when it rang, signifying that Ray (Biological father) was calling me at Midnight tonight. Sure enough, he left a voicemail. On said voicemail, he informed me that Ethel, my late grandfather's wife, had passed away on the 19th. Ray himself had apparently just discovered this information and wanted to pass the info along. For anyone who has read my blogs in the past or found any particular interest in the random babblings on my facebook page, you know that I went to Georgia back around Easter. That was the second time in my life I had been in that house, the first time I could remember. That time with Ethel turned out to an extremely significant time that I will never forget. She touched my heart in a way that would lead one to believe we were very close. Though we've know of each other my entire life, I had no relationship with her or my grandfather of which to speak except for the little time I spent in their home as a baby and the two weeks I was there this past spring. However, I learned much about/from Ethel and that house. I created memories that I will always cherish. I hated leaving her and that house. I guess these are the reasons why I bawled when I got tonight's unexpected message. I guess that's why I'm still crying... and why my heart hurts.
She was a dear woman, and would've been 90 this year. Gosh. 90 years old. She had a great life though I know she was probably heartbroken over the death of her husband. And I know she was suffering physically. But, now she is at peace. And even through the sadness I thank God I was given the opportunity to meet her and be able to spend time with her, and to have so many questions answered.

I pray for peace for her loved ones because I know she will be missed by her family.
God bless you Ethel.

Another emo poem........

So close to being with you
so close to the brink
I can hardly think
You push me on
you write my song
I want to hold you close
I want to be free
I just want to fly
I can't remember
I only feel the wind
Why am I here?
You won't be there 
in the end
You'll run away
You'll leave me on the curb
You'll leave me on the line
standing alone again.
But you push me on
you write my song
You make me want to hold you
though I want to be free to fly
I wish I could remember how to feel
Why am I here?
You'll only drive me away
or drive me over the edge
I'll never feel your warmth
You'll keep me at arm's length
over the cliff
I'll dangle for you
as long as I know you're there