Another day in the life...

Ugh.
It's kinda blah outside today.
Meh....
I am really just in a blah mood.
And I have to deal with my musical theatre kids at 5.
UGH.
There's nothing wrong with the kids.
I'm just not in the right mindset today.
I'm sure it'll change once I get there.
Maybe.
Both classes wanted to do a number of songs, but I don't think I'm gonna have them do all of them.
So far the first class has "Rudolph," "Silent Night" (Words learned but no movement), and "Jingle Bell Rock."
The second has "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer," "All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth" (Words learned but no movement), and "Santa Claus is coming to town" (Words learned but no movement).
Hah.
The first class also wants to do "Winter Wonderland."
The second wants "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus."
lol.
I think I'm gonna annex those two.
'Cause I'm like that.
Reason being, each class has an hour today, 5-6 and 6-7, then they are coming Thursday for their regular scheduled classes, 6-7, 7:15-8:15, and that's when they are supposed to perform for their parents.
SO, having some songs learned but not completed, I'm making the executive decision.
It'll probably tick a couple of the kids off, but whatever.
I'm Miss Tahrea.
They are the students.
That's life.
And I'll totally say something like, "Well, you shouldn't have goofed off in class last week, huh?"
Guilt.
My favorite modivator.

What's really gonna be bugging me is the fact that I can't go to the auditions today to spy out who else will be auditioning...
That always bugs me.
When I can't see who else is in the pot...
I only get like this when auditioning for a musical.
Or for a part I really want.
It consumes me.
lol.
If only I were joking.
But you had better believe I'll totally be there tomorrow.
OOOOh, yes.
momma's gonna be on the lookout.
I might actually buzz over there after classes today and pray they are still auditioning.
That would be sweet.
I mean, they start at 5:30, so it wouldn't totally impossible for auditions to still be going on at 7-ish...
Maybe...

Last night went well btw...
This group is a new one, starting in August.
This was their third investigation, and they did really well.
Nice people, as usual.
Though I guess, like theatre, you've got to be a special kind of person to get into the paranormal field.
I mean, I haven't met an investigator I didn't like, you know?
I mean, there have been some weird people, like the people who see something or feel something EVERYWHERE.
But the majority of the people I have met have been really cool.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Auditions went well.
I did great.
The acting bit was okay.
The dancing bit was slightly painful but I survived.
Slightly.
I can't go to tomorrow's auditions because of my musical theatre classes are 5-7 and the auditions start at 5:30.
I'll be there Monday though, at 5:30.
Then I'll just stay for the board meeting at 7.
The practice after that.

I'm leaving in a few to go to, surprise surprise, the theatre.
Another group is coming tonight for an investigation.
RIP from Roseville, Ohio.
I guess it's north of Zanesville.
Should be fun.

Life's a Funny Proposition

I am about to do the unthinkable.
Well, not unthinkable...
Well...
Okay, I'm auditioning for another play.
And mom isn't totally pleased.
As usual.
BUT, I'm only auditioning for one role.
HA!
Oh, it's Little Johnny Jones.
A musical.
At RTP.
Chances are, I'll get a part.
I wonder how good my chances are that I'll get the part for which I'm auditioning....



Here's a synopsis of the play, in case you are wondering....



A brash, patriotic American jockey, Johnny Jones, goes to England to ride his horse, Yankee Doodle, in the English Derby. Jones falls in love with Goldie Gates, a San Francisco copper heiress, who follows him to Britain, disguising herself as a man to discover if Jones really loves her. Anthony Anstey, an American who runs a Chinese gambling establishment in San Francisco, offers Jones a bribe to lose the race deliberately, but he refuses. After Jones loses, Anstey spreads rumors that he threw the race intentionally. Jones' detective, pretending to be a drunkard, searches for evidence to clear Johnny's name and finds out that it was Anstey that framed Jones. Jones tells his friends who are returning to America, "Give My Regards to Broadway," but he stays in London to try to regain his reputation. Jones returns to America with his name cleared, eager to propose marriage to Goldie, but he finds that Anstey has kidnapped her. He and his detective search for her in San Francisco's Chinatown, eventually finding her.



It sounds cute.
And the character I want, Goldie (Surprise surprise) is a Alto-Mezzo Soprano AKA MY RANGE!!!
AHA!

Here's a song list:

The Cecil in London - Jenkins
They're All My Friends - Timothy D. McGee
Mam'selle Fauchette - Goldie Gates
'Op in the 'Ansom - Cabbies and Reformers
Nesting in a New York Tree - Florabelle Fly
Yankee Doodle Boy - Johnny Jones
Off to the Derby - Company
Girls from the U.S.A. - Florabelle Fly
(Sailors of St. Hurrah - Sailors
Captain of a Ten Day Boat - Captain Squirvy
Goodbye Flo - Goldie Gates
Good Old California - Henry Hapgood
A Girl I Know - Johnny Jones and Goldie Gates
Give My Regards to Broadway - Johnny Jones
March of the Frisco Chinks - Company
Life's a Funny Proposition - Johnny Jones

Should be fun.
I think I'm gonna sing "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man."
Same solo I used for my LTOB audition.
I just know if I don't get Goldie, the director will probably want me to be an extra or whatever to help with singing.
NOT.
It would be cool to be a leading lady for once...
Seriously.
Lord knows I've got the Diva mentality down.
I've used it enough times.
Just not in the musical sense.
Regan was just chalk full of it at times.
(AW, I miss Regan....)
This leading lady is probably a goody-goody one though.
THAT will require some acting on my part.
Not that it will be a problem or anything.
LOL...

OMG!!!!! What may be the greatest opportunity I've gotten yet.....

Just listened to a song called "Twelve Pains of Christmas" by Bob Rivers...
Hilarious.

Anywhoo...
You know the saying "Opportunity Knock?"
In the past year, everytime an opportunity has come along for me, it has this way of just tearing the door down and announce its presence, rather than a simple knocking.
yeh.
Yesterday morning my manager, Jen, almost pounced on me during one of our usual conversations.
"Oh my gosh! I have something important to tell you!!!!"
lol.
It turns out she saw a notice in the Circleville Herald that Logan Elm High School is looking for someone to fill the High School Musical Director position for their spring musical.
*MAJOR GAY GASP!!!!*
After she told me she didn't bring the paper with her, we looked to the internet to find out what the details were.
Luckily, after 10 hasty minutes of searching, we found that one had to contact a Tim Williams.
After another minute of perusal, we found that Tim Williams is the Principal.
Ah.
The BOSSMAN.
I was already a nervous mess just thinking about it.
SO, Jen shoved the phone in my hand and told me to call.
I did.
I had to leave a message on his machine.
Meh.
THEN, he called me back 15 minutes later.
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG was my only thought.
Still, I thought I was quite calm and collected as we spoke.
He was a nice guy.
He explained that the position is for someone who will direct the spring musical for the high school.
Apparently there had been some confusion as to what the position, and folks actually thought it was the choir director position.
*SLAP THE FOREHEAD!*
Seriously???
He explained that they would start doing interviews next week and, gave me the address for the school and told me to send both my work resume and theatre resume.
AGH!
I spazzed out once I hung up with him.
I spazzed out all day, actually.
It's a really exciting thing for me, and this could be a HUGE break for me as well...
We'll just have to hope it works out...

So, my face now looks as if someone started to brand the osu logo on my right cheek but didn't finished the job.

Yeah.

I've scrubbed the outline of the freaking tattoo onto my face.

I'm a scabby fanatic....

YAY.

I laid out all of my Treasure Island stuff and started working on it some more and realized something.

Okay, I personally don't write my blocking in the script.

I can remember it.

Not that hard.

With Lear, I did write my exits and entrances because it was slightly confusing at time, not dealing with an actual stage and all.

That and the fact that Shakespeare really didn't write out stage blockin in his scripts.

Otherwise, I just highlight my lines and I'm good.

I just don't like doing it and I don't need to do it.

SO, you can imagine my perturbation when I realized I had to actually write the blocking for ALL the characters in my script.
ARGH.

I was highly irritated.

When I told mom about it, she said, "Well, you need to. You aren't going to be able to remember what you want the kids to do in when you start next year."
"Yes I will." said I.

"The blocking... for all of them?"
"Yeah."
"I don't think so."
ARGH.

I started doing it last night despite my... despite for it.

And I realized I need to start working on the schedule as well.

ARGH.
SOOOOO many things still left to do.

ARGH.

Now, I have to get ready for practice....

ARGH.

Not so much grey as it is scarlet...

Yesterday, as you may know, was the infamous Ohio State vs. Michigian game.
Every year, dad's family gathers around the television, all donned in scarlet and grey, to watch the game.
Oh, and there's always a smorgasborg of food.
That goes without saying.
So, yesterday morning, us Maynards got up and prepared for the day.
We cooked and dressed like mad fiends.
I myself decided to apply a temporary tattoo of the OSU symbol along with my buckeyes shirt.
After arriving at my cousin's, there was much hooplah and harried chaos as the game began.
Of course, the buckeyes won, 42-7.
GLORIOUS.
In a celebratory fashion, mom and I wore our Buckeye garb to the local pizza joint to see a family band play.
Then I went out to visit with some friends at the restaurant.
When I got home, and decided to prepare for bed, I began my nightly ritual of brushing teeth and washing face.
Ah, that darn tattoo.
I had almost forgotten about until I saw it on my reflection in the mirror.
Some soap.
A washcloth.
No problem.
Some scrubbing......
UHM...
Some scrubbing....
Huh...
It's still there.
Only tiny bits had come off.
SO, some more scrubbing, a bit more vigorous this time.
After a few minutes of scrubbing, my cheek now lacked the tattoo, but donned a new bright red mark as if I had been slapped.
Hhhmmm...
Oh well, thought I, it'll go away.
Ha.
This morning, I woke up to find my cheek slightly stinging.
I went down the bathroom and gasped at my reflection.
My cheek now looked as if I had been in a fight with either a really cruel carpet or a small fire.
Great.
Not that I'm doing anything of importance today, such as play practice and a meeting at work, meaning I have to see people who are going to question what that huge red mark is on the side of my freaking face.
Not at all...
ARGH.
After being questioned by my horrified mother, I put neosporin on it and trudged to this computer to look up remedies.
Not sure how to search for what this was, I simply put rug burn treatments.
ARGH.
Then, out of spite, I looked up how to remove a temporary tattoo....
This I found to be hilarious.
Among other means of removal which would've been much more sensible and less painful, I found these two...

Grab a paper towel or a cloth and rub the tattoo vigorously until it is removed. Continue to add oil as needed
Take hand soap, dish soap, body wash, etc. and scrub, not too hard, but vigorously, until gone.

HAH!
These were the others...
-Take some cooking oil, preferably olive oil, and apply it to your tattoo.
-Apply a reasonable amount of rubbing alcohol to a cloth or cotton ball. Rub until gone, also can use water with it.
-Take some clear Scotch tape, apply over the tattoo, and rip off. Don't worry, Scotch tape isn't sticky enough to hurt- only sticky enough to remove temporary tattoos!
-You can also put a little baby oil on it before you go to bed, and when you wake up, it will be gone.

Much more sensible than waking up looking like Tommy Lee Jones when he played Two Face in Batman and Robin.....
ARGH.
Now I have to memorize the rest of my lines and figure out the perfect sob story for all the insightful questions I know I shall receive once I step foot out of this house........



Three Rug Burn Home Remedies

Do you have more than one child running around the house? Do your children's friends come over to play? Do you have rugs or carpets? If so, you've probably had to deal with rug burns or another. A child getting dragged across the floor by a friend or sibling seems like an inevitable part of playing and roughhousing. And, if they are dragged across a rug, it can leave a minor, but painful, rug burn behind. People often don't think of treating rug burns, figuring the only thing you can do is leave them be and let them heal on their own. But there are home remedies you can use to treat these minor injuries, and keep them from turning into something worse.

Apply Cold Water to the Rug Burn
You can treat a rug burn the same way you'd treat other first degree burns. The first step to treating a rug burn is to hold the injured area under cool, running water for about ten or even twenty minutes.Do not place ice directly on a rug burn. This could actually cause more damage to the injured area.

Keep the Rug Burn Dry
After removing the injured area from the water, gently but thoroughly dry the area with something soft and gentle, like a cotton ball.You want to keep a rug burn dry at all times. So, after baths and showers, give make sure the rug burn is thoroughly dry.

Clothes Can Irritate a Rug Burn
When fabric rubs against a rug burn, it can cause pain an irritation. It can also slow down the healing process, something you definitely don't want.So, if possible, try to wear clothes that won't rub against a rug burn. For example, if the rug burn is on your leg, wear skirts or shorts whenever possible. If the rug burn is on your arm, wear short sleeved shirts instead of long sleeved shirts. Making minor changes in the way you dress while your rug burn heals can make a world of difference.
What Not to Put on a Rug Burn
There are some things you definitely don't want to put on a rug burn, because they'd cause more harm than good. Some things you should avoid putting on the area are butter, lotions, powders (like baby powder), perfumes, sunscreen, alcohol, and baby oil. All of these things could cause irritation, and make the rug burn worse, and make it take longer to heal.

Balance toys....

http://www.tarheelart.com/balancetoys/balancetoys.htm

Very interesting art.....

Yes, Virginia, it is the holiday season. Now leave me alone...

Reading Danielle's last blog, I realized Thanksgiving is six days away.
UGH.
Now, to be fair, I do enjoy this time of the year for what it is.
I love cooking and baking and eating.
I love singing and dancing to Christmas carols.
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE decorating the trees.
Every year, I put a theme to the living room tree.
Usually it's a color scheme.
Last year it was Santas and Nutcrackers.
THIS year it is going to be birds.
I've purchased a ton of bird ornaments for it.
AGH!
It's my favorite.
I host a christmas party for my friends every year and that has me stoked as well.
I really used to hate this time of year.
Why?
Well, to help me sum it all up is this poem I wrote years ago that really embodies how I felt back then.....

Candy canes, Mistletoe.
White, soft, gentle snow.
Carols, A Christmas tree.
A red and green stocking for me.
All these and more are what people will say
when asked what reminds them of Christmas Day.
Not me though.
Oh, nonononononono....
Not stockings or mistletoe.
All these things may be great
But they aren't what reminds me of Christmas Day.
I envision spoiled children
and their poor tired parents,
The bitter cold
and the constant straining errands.
Loved ones trying to top last year's gift..
these things and more really get me miffed.
Give me the presents
but keep family away!
Or up in my bedroom is where I'll stay.
I can't stand the rush
of the idiot shoppers
who always make such a scene,
it's a really show stopper.
Or the department store santas
with their fake white beards.
Instead of looking Jolly,
they look really weird.
That's my version of Christmas...
It's sad, but it's true.
And with that
MERRY CHRISTMAS
and Happy New Year too.

ARGH! I be excited.... Part two

AH!
Another snag in the mix...

Some of the cast members will be using the cutlass, which, according to wikipedia, is a short, broad sabre or slashing sword, with a straight or slightly curved blade sharpened on the cutting edge, and a hilt often featuring a solid cupped or basket-shaped guard.

They'll also be using guns and knives as well, being that they're pirates and all...

AND there's a fight in the beginning of the play with Bill and Black Dog where *GASP!* they each use their cutlass...

Hhhhhmmmm....

Now where, O where, shall I find someone who will teach us all the art of swordplay for kids???
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm....

Oh, where could I find such a man????

Hhhhmmmmmmmmm.......

I've decided to start emailing kids and parents alike and start getting together a following now.

That way I'm sure to have a crowd at auditions.

AGH!
So excited!

BTW, one of my families that are always involved in the children's production is currently going through the adoption process.

Here's a link to their blog all about it.

They are a real blessing to the theatre and to me and I know this baby will be raised with nothing but love.

And the fabulousness of these people, of course.

http://warneradoption.blogspot.com/

http://www.deadmentellnotales.com/onlinetexts/treasure/pictures.shtml

http://www.deadmentellnotales.com/onlinetexts/treasure/island.shtml

AH!
A depiction of Dr. Livesey, Jim, and Squire Trelawney.

ARGH! I be excited....

I must say how impatiently I am waiting for the new year to come.
Well, I guess part of me really hates seeing time fly by so fast.
The other part of me can't wait for January, and for the adventure of Treasure Island to commence.
I'm am all a twitter preparing for my first stab at directing, and I am uber excited to work with another children's production.
As of right now, I am reading up on the back story of the story of Treasure Island, so I can be ready with tons of fun little facts about Robert Louis Stevenson and whatnot.
I'm also looking at different costume designs and trying to figure out what an 18th century doctor would wear.
http://anniescostumes.com/eighteen.htm
http://www.beavton.k12.or.us/jacob_wismer/fourth/colonies/clothing.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treasure_Island
http://www.ucl.ac.uk/histmed/people/academics/wear
For a moment I actually considered setting the play in modern time.
HA!
Silly me.
Where is the fun in that?

I've already got my set design, prop list and character list.
I've broken down the scenes and sound cues.
Now all I need to do is get my sounds.
And cast.
And props.
And everything else that goes with a children's production.
Man, just talking about it gets me all crazy excited....
But I have to wait through this production, Playing Away.
And the next production, Little Johnny Jones.
THEN!!!
THEN my dream will come true!!!!!!!
AGH!
So excited!!!!

Give me a clue and take a hint!

I'm gonna be the angsty young female for a minute here...
Bear with me.
Why-
what is it about guys?
I mean, what?
I try so hard to get into their heads, and when I think I've finally figured them out, SURPRISE! another curve ball.
It's like a freaking rubix cube.
One will be friends with you and you think that's it.
Just friends.
Then, all of the sudden, you find out that he finds you attractive.
You give him a couple of beers, and he's inviting you back to his place.
Another tells you he wants to talk, so you offer to come over.
NOOOOOOOO, he's busy with a project.
Then he's doing whatever else he wants to do.
SO you go home.
Those are just two examples...
Seriously, what is up?
*SIGH*
I just don't get it.

I'm so flustered I can't even write a poem about how flustered I am, or utilize it in a creative way.
ARGH!

Play practice is going really well.
Still don't have my lines memorized, but it will get there.
I have faith.
I have to, since we have about 6 rehearsals left.
Yeah.

No rest for the wicked...

So, I'm on the computer right now.
Obviously.
I'm here because I was in the living room, attempting to enjoy myself despite the fact I've been ill all day, but I had to vacate the living room.
I had to leave because Junia came home and brought her boyfriend with her.
And because I was on the couch and I knew she would bitch about me being on the couch, the one piece of furniture that would comfortably accomodate her and Chris.
And because I know they want to watch "Polar Express."
Well, mom wants to watch it, but was waiting til they came home.
And, as it is not Christmas time, I have no desire to sit through Polar Express.
And I have no desire to do anything involving Junia and Chris.

It's always awkward when someone you're close to and usually like dates someone you can't stand.
I have found myself leaving the room a lot faster.
Actually, I've been more likely to find refuge over at Tyler's pad, where I know they can't get me.
*SIGH*
It really grinds my gears anymore...
I can't stand that guy...

Santa Baby, give everyone else a calendar, please...

SO.
The holidays are only weeks away.
Yeah.
2008 apparently had no desire to stick around, because this year just flew by.
So, unfortunately, Christmas will come bounding upon ere long...
Bleh.
I noticed something last night that caught my eye and struck me as absurd.
People have actually just taken down halloween decorations and immediately replaced them with Christmas decorations.
Why?
And they aren't simple christmas lights and maybe a reindeer or two.
NO.
These are the people who buy every inflatable santa claus-in-a-snoglobe-that-is-bigger-than-the-house (or trailer), and frosty the snowman-that-looks-like-he-might-be-mentally-challenged-and-might-eat-your-children-because-he-can....
Subtle is not in the vocabulary.
I had the pleasure of taking my 5-year-old cousin Madison to see.... *SHUDDER*... "High School Musical 3" yesterday.
Yeas, my soul died a little...
As we were driving home, we happened upon a couple of different houses with this situation.
Being the ever bright and wonderful creature she is, Madison looked out the window as I pointed these houses out, and yelled, "WHAT?! It's not even Christmas time yet, PEOPLE!"
AH, the wisdom of a child.

EXTRA EXTRA! British comedy makes dramaqueen go against her word... read all about it!!!

Yesterday I received a very interesting text message from one of my RTP friends, Kim.
The text message basically asked me to do her sister's part in the latest RTP production, "Playing Away," since, apparently, her sister had dropped out and they needed someone to do the part.
There was a twinge of desperation in the message, so I called her.
MAN, was she ever pissed.
Apparently, her sister "flaked out" on the role and Kim told Barry, the director, that she would call me and ask me to do the role.
I, being the silly girl I am, obliged and said I would be at the theatre last night at 7.
She said it was a small part and that the lines weren't that much.
It opens the first weekend of December, so I have plenty of time to memorize lines.
No sweat.
Well, I went.
And I loved it.
It's a great play.
Plus, we're doing british accents!
AUGH!
I spend 80% of my life walking around doing a british accent so I was pumped.
Talk about fun.

Mom was less than thrilled at the idea of me doing yet another production for which I wouldn't get paid....
Blah.
She'll come around...
Eventually.
And if not, she'll just have to hate me for the next couple of weeks.
*SHRUG*
Sacrifices, sacrifices...

I have no part to call my own...

Being the overly dramatic person I am, I just wrote this.
It's a poem, but I imagine a VERY dramatic character in some dramedy singing this song in lament...
It would be along the same lines of "Diva's Lament/What Ever Happened to My part" from Spamalot, now that I think of it....

I have no part to call my own...
The play is over...
I have no home...
The crowd's applauded...
the curtain is drawn...
I have no part to call my own...

For many months,
I had a name...
I was someone else...
For many months,
I had a second family.
Now, of course, I find I am lost
What's a diva to do?
without a play...
without a part...
without direction...
Without a clue...

I have no part to call my own...
The costume's hung...
Somehow I have to move on...
We took our bow...
Everyone has gone home...
I have no part to call my own.

Be careful of what you do before the lie becomes the truth....

Tears for Fears' song "Mad world" is randomly going through my head right now...
Just thought I'd share that.

As I sit here drinking the remains of my fourth glasses of Arbor Mist, I realized something....
I didn't get but five minutes from the rest of the cast before the depressive mood set in.
You know, that sad longing and realization that it is all over...
Our last production was tonight.
We tore down the set.
We gathered up the props and costumes.
We rode back to Groveport.
We kissed and hugged.
We all went our separate ways...
I felt alone.
Abandoned.
Without a home to call my own.
Well...
Part of me does.
The other part of me is happy to get back to my version of a normal life.
I'm glad to get back to have free evenings and whatnot, but, honestly, I'll still go through withdrawal.
I'm left with a void.
Ugh.
I hate this feeling.
Luckily, I have my sights set on auditions for "Little Johnny Jones" within the next month, and I'll be able to go see a couple of shows before then, so I'll be able to satify part of my need for theatre.
PART of it....
Sweet Rick Moore is in LTOB's production of "Blithe Spirit" and Danielle, who played Goneril, will be in Raconteur's "Mom and Pop."
YAY!
Plus, I'm preparing for my "Treasure Island" adventure which starts in January.
I can't believe it is only a few months away.
Time flies so fast when one isn't paying attention....

Still, I shall miss my friends and cast members of "Lear."
I think we all learned a lot about each other and ourselves with this production.
I know I learned a great deal about this production, especially since I knew little to nothing about it when I first auditioned for it....
Now I feel like somewhat of an expert, having gone over and through it so many times.
Man.
What a great show.
We received such great feedback from audience members.
We had a great show.
A great cast.
A great director.
And we all shared a great understanding for the show itself.
Looking back, we really were great together...
Onstage, stage that is....
Not everyone got along during rehearsals and backstage, but I think that THAT actually just added to the show.
*SIGH*
I personally think it was the best production in which I had ever performed.
I shall miss it dearly...
Luckily, I made friends and connections in this productions that shall not be forgotten or severed for a long time...
Whether those involved like it or not.


And now...
I leave you with the words of one of my favorite songs...

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be. And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be. For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer. let it be. Let it be, let it be, ..... And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be. I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, let it be, .....

Did you see me breathing?

I have a rant, but I'll hold off just long enough to tell you of an interesting story....
After the play tonight we the cast went over to Little Italy, as usual.
We had a marvelous time laughing, eating, and drinking.
After a while, we all went our separate ways.
As we were walking to our separate vehicles, Garison hissed at Lynn, Manny, and I to quickly move to where he was standing, which was behind the van next to Manny's car.
As we did so, he pointed out a young woman several yards ahead of us in the parking lot.
To our shock, this young woman was... urinating in the parking lot up against a truck.
I lie not.
She was in a squatting position, and was quite... bare.....
It was special.
A few minutes later, Danielle calls me to tell me of her fun tale.
As SHE was making her way to her vehicle, an apparently drunken old man presented her with the proposition of sexual intercourse...
Of course, he used much more colorful language and slurred a lot.
I believe his opening statement to her was, "I could just totally F#@% you right now...."
CLASSY.
Groveport's finest certainly does love to flaunt its charms afterhours...

Now for my rant.
*AHEM*
In this production, Danielle and I are dragged out on blankets in the last scene.
And we're "dead."
This is the first time I've ever had to... for lack of better terms "play dead," so I've been kinda playing with it, trying to control my breathing, and, for the most part, I thought I had done a pretty good job.
Then I asked mom last Saturday, after the performance, "Did you see me breathing?"
She said, "I could tell you were trying to control it."
AKA yes, yes I did.
Thanks to this conversation, plus one of my many BFs with Danielle (BF is Bitch fit, for those of you who haven't seen White Girls), I realized something.
We're in a play.
We are actors.
We are pretending to be these people.
I'm not really Regan.
Danielle and Aaron don't really go off stage and do the bad thing.
Doug isn't really going crazy.
Harlow doesn't really gouge out Keith's eyes with his bare hands.
I don't really KILL anyone.
Therefore, I don't really die.
AKA who the heck cares if I'm laying there breathing????
Seriously.
I mean, as long as I'm laying there, not moving, not scratching my nose or laughing at the other actor's lines, or laughing at Danielle, I'm obviously portraying the fact that Regan is dead.
There you go.
That's all that needs to be done.
It's acting.
Ha.
Laurence Olivier once looked at Dustin Hoffman and said, "Dear boy, why don't you try acting? It's so much easier."
Of course, the reason why Sir Laurence said that was because Dustin H. was torturing himself as a.... *SHUDDER* method actor.
Method actors....
UGH.
That's another rant in and of itself.
My point in bringing that up is that it's acting.
IF you are an actor, act.
It's not that hard.

I don't really know how to end this so I'm just going to say good night now.
I am tired and do not wish to type any longer.
Night.

It was payneful...

Mom and I recently went to see a movie together.
Being the ever typical women we are, we were split between "Max Payne" and " the Haunting of Molly Bartley."
Max Payne won.
In a manner of speaking.
First of all, mom and I, for some reason or another, were under the impression that this Max Payne was a comic book character.
Secondly, knowing nothing about the story and having to rely only on the previews on the TV, we were under the impression the story had to do with spiritual warfare, i.e. angels, demons, heaven, hell.
Kind of a spin off on Constantine.
That is clearly the vibe you get from the previews, where you see huge black, winged creatures flying around, and you hear a man's voice saying, "The Devil is building his army.... Max Payne is looking for something Heaven doesn't want to be found..."
Then the movie opens up with Mark Walberg's voice saying, "I don't believe in heaven...."
SO.
Imagine our surprise when we find out the movie is about drugs and government cover ups.
Oh, keep in mind how much we dislike Mark Walberg because of his inability to act.
Or entertain.
I was actually writing this blog in my head as I was watching the movie, if that tells you anything....
Ooh, Max Payne is all hard and wears a black leather coat.
OOh, he's a vigilante of sorts.
OOh, he takes the law in his own hands.
Ooh, his wife and child were killed and the bad guy got away? No way!
OOh, his ex-partner was played by a funny man from a sitcom.
Ooh, he has personal conflict with his old partner and that's why they are together anymore.
Ooh, he buries himself in his work....
Ooh, He never smiles the entire movie, except to a flashback where he smiles like he's mentally disabled.... That is until he realizes some broke in and killed his wife and child... Then he's hard like the streets.
Ooh, his wife was killed because of a government cover up.
Ooh, the person he trusted the most was the one who killed his wife and child...
Oh, and Beau Bridges.
LOL.
Beau Bridges' lines were hilarious.
When he wasn't asking Max "Where are you going?" he was saying cheesy lines like "He's my old partner's kid. He's family. Take care of him..."
BLEH.
The only thing about this movie that surprised me was the fact that Max Payne was trying to drown himself in either alcohol or sex.
Good Freaking Grief.
When the movie finally ended (Let me just say the last scene just epitomized the entire movie in its hilarity) I laughed.
I annoyed the tar out of mom because I laughed out of the theatre, into the restroom and out into the car.
I laughed.
It was ridiculous.
I will say that I was surprised to see Mila Kuniz doing a serious role.
Not bad, Mila.
Not bad at all.
Oh, and some rapper.... Ludacriz or something like that played this detective.
When I read that, I turned to mom and said, "Oh, that explains it."
Bad acting....
Ugh.
Bad Hollywood.
Deceiving us like that.
Bad.
Bad.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Now go stand in the corner, you naughty, naughty form of entertainment...

Give me a sedative

Give me a sedative
send me to bed and never
wake me up to tell me how you
love me
Kiss me on my forehead don't
kill me before you have to go
break me into pieces
crush me into ashes
Spread me over and over the water
sing me a song between the laughter
Give me a sedative
Never leave me
and deceive me
keep me thinking I'm the one that
never should have come back
Give me a sedative
Keep me from pounding my head against the wall
keep me sober
turn me over
make sure I'm breathing as you are leaving
Lie to me
just read my poetry
open me up to understand the complex intricacies
that are me...

Just. Go. Vote.

I voted.
Mom and I woke upt at 9-something, and went to Walnut Elementary to vote.
We stood in line for all of 5 minutes, and then voted.
We spent about 11 minutes there in the building.
I voted!
On some of the issues I wasn't as aware as I should have been, but that's why they give you a short summary on the issues to read there, right???
I'm so glad it's election day.
I am so sick of the political advertisements on TV.
They really get out of hand with these freaking ads.
Now, thank goodness, they will go away.
Now, we have the stories and stories and stories of the myriad of mistakes, misvotes, and misprints to which we have to look forward...
Yay...
I can't wait.

I have to say last night I found myself torn...
I was torn about for whom I was going to vote...
I mean, I've been raised in a household that has mostly leaned towards the republican point of view.....
I've been raised by moral values voters.
So it basically came down to killing babies or economic struggle......
Tough choice.....
My best friend told this morning that she had a huge sheet of paper upon which she had scrolled her likes and dislikes about the two main candidates.
Then she said, "I might have to go Ralph Nader. That guy just doesn't quit."
lol.
Sweet Samantha....
She also said something to the effect of, "...because my one vote is going to decide the whole election."
At this point, though, to each individual american with a political opinion, it probably does matter for whom you vote (Myself included), I'm just going to say that if you are registered to vote, then go VOTE.
PERIOD.

Now, I'm going to get off my mini soapbox and curl up into a sickly ball on the couch.

The afterthought.....

Weekend one of King Lear is done.
It went well.
There were some goof-ups, but that comes with the territory.
Overall, it was good.
Yeah....
Something I was grateful for yet still made me laugh was that someone decided to put a synopsis of the show in the program.
Genius idea, says I.
I know a few audience members made reference to this more than once during their watching the show.
I know I've been to a few shows that WEREN'T Shakespeare for which I needed a guide to tell me what the heck was going on.
So yeah...
The first part is over...
Now all I have to do is wait for Wednesday, for brush-up....
*SIGH*