Are you having trouble winning souls?
Is your tabernacle a bit empty?
And don't you just hate those vacant spots in the pews?
Are the old ministry gimmicks just not cutting it?
DON'T FEAR!
I HAVE A SOLUTION!
HATE!
Yes, HATE!
Hate is a tried and true method, fail-proof and solid.
Got an ornery Buddhist worshiping an Elephant?
Throw a rock in his face!
Throw a rock in his face!
Boys holding hands with other boys?
OFF with their heads!
OFF with their heads!
Non-denominational?
Pick a side, brother!
Pick a side, brother!
Hate your enemy! Be mean to those who mistreat you!
Kill the sinner, hate the sin!
You'll be winning sheep to your flock in no time!
HATEHATEHATE!
What would Jesus do?
Don't be a Nancy boy! Hate them all!
Other people claim that goodness and love win others over. I say SHUT UP!
Hate!
Act now, and you can throw in IGNORANCE and CLOSE-MINDEDNESS!
