Monday, June 14, 2010

Myrtle Beach Vacation, Part One

It is 3:35 am. I am completely numb to feelings and emotions right now as they do not exist in this ungodly hour, though if I were to pinpoint one that I probably would be feeling right now it would be unmitigated disdain for this terrible time. As I lay here, the rest of the household sleeps. I woke up early to shower and get ready because everyone one else said they would wake up around 4 am. I didn't feel like fighting for a shower, so I jumped the gun on this one. I hate long roadtrips where I sit in the back seat for nine hours, hating life. Knowing that is what is looming in the near future only adds to the resentment. I've never understood the concept of getting up so early to get on the road. I know it is to reach your destination at a decent hour, thus beginning your vacation and optimum relaxation time.... but seriously. I for one want to collapse on a bed when I get out of that despicable van. I have no desire to eat or sightsee. THAT can begin tomorrow. Whatever. I've learned not to argue. I've accepted my fate. And besides, if it makes the parents happy I'll be cool.
My next coherent thought won't be for hours as I will try the uncomfortable effort of sleeping in the godforsaken van. That will go over really well I'm sure. :o/
Why couldn't Myrtle Beach be closer???

Monday, June 7, 2010

The reasons why you are suffering (a poem)

Tired, past the twilight
you're sailing into the murky night.
It's going to be another shouting match
Another bloodbath.
You're going to claw for each other's eyes,
both being accused of lies.
Unrelenting, unwilling to let go
and sail into a world you don't know.
you fight against the swirl of emotion. 
Only one has any devotion,
and one is making ends meet to try and keep it right
but you're only going to end up in another fight.
Never ending circle could end by your hand
but you're too busy trying to be a friend.
You are trapped in that cage,
and you can't find your stage.
You belong to yourself
but your balls are on her shelf .
You pray for release
so you can do as you please 
but you can't find your way
so you begin to sway
and fall down,
dirt and ground,
making the same mistake,
always give and never take.
You may never learn
and she'll make you squirm
and crush you with regret when it's your turn.