Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Diva is doomed, revised

The diva has no hope.
The diva smiles for the crowd but, below the act, she wants to scream aloud. 
The diva wants to let the monster out. 
Below the diva's stage, her foundation is crumbling.
The diva covers her pain and troubles with makeup and band-aids.
The diva is now haunted by her mistakes, 
yet continues to fail her loved ones.

The diva's unrelenting ability to destroy 
is her downfall.
The diva surrounds herself with friends and emotion,on a crowded stage of strangers. 
The diva always fears time spent alone, for there the truth finds her.
The diva forgets how to bleed, but she can show you her scars.
The diva never knew how to love. All that beats is her broken heart. 
The diva sings no melody, but has her own tune and march. 
The diva has discovered true loneliness though she hides behind a glass of wine.
The diva never keeps time, too busy in the limelight. 

The diva is tortured by the demons she has created.
The diva has no room for clothes in her closet, full of skeletons.
The diva has compromised her life, her emotions, her relationships.
No script will save her speech when all charisma is sucked away from her eyes.
She will discover the bottom of the empty bottle.
No role will spare her from real emotion.
No revival will save the diva's soul
.
The diva is doomed. 

Tahrea, Vegetarian, Part Two or The End of National Vegetarian Month

I did not intend for my previous blog to be a two part thing, but I've actually had some great feedback the first part. I thought I'd follow up and expand on a few things. As of yesterday, I've been a vegetarian for four months now! Yay! I have felt better and my body has been functioning better, excluding these past few weeks where my cast mates and I have been sharing some sort of bug with each other. I have actually lost 24 pounds since I started this endeavor, an extra fabulous bonus. :o)
Every once in a while, I find myself craving a steakburger from Steak N Shake or bacon. However, since I look at this whole change as a challenge for myself, I know that not giving in to certain cravings only helps me build my will power. To me, it's like some one trying to quit smoking, though not as extreme. What's aggravating is that when someone close to me says they reeeeeally want to smoke a cigarette and I support them by discouraging that craving, but when I make a small mention about how I kinda miss bacon, I am encouraged to EAT the bacon. Argh. That response certainly does not helping my personal cause. Luckily, the worse BAD craving that has cracked me is french fries. Yep, I've gone through a drive thru as of late for some fries and a fruit and yogurt parfait more than once. GUILTY. :o/
As we end National Vegetarian Month, I reflect on the past couple of months and realize how much I've learned about myself and about the amazing alternatives I have been given or have discovered. I hope that more people will explore healthier options for themselves and make healthy decisions for themselves as they reach for their next meal.
Remember, we eat to live. We do not live to eat.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

It could be worse but I'm glad it's not....

I should be asleep. I SHOULD be. I'm in bed. It is late at night. I should be asleep. But I'm not. Instead I find myself sinking into the melancholy void that tends to overtake me when I find myself suddenly alone. Sometimes it hits me when I'm driving alone or when I'm doing something menial at work; random actions which one does alone. UGH... it's hard to shake sometimes. It isn't that I'm depressed, just... brooding in my solitude. This is a state few "emo" kids can only hope to achieve, y'know.
No I'm not depressed. That's not it. I mean, about what have I to be depressed? Yeah, I've got a few things pulling against me right now, but I've got a few great things going for me. I have several things to which I am look forward including a date with a pretty decent guy on Friday. I am surrounded by friends and family. I have a terrific theatre family who is overwhelming me with SO many great memories and moments....
...but I'm still in this funk. Bleh. At least I am feeling sleep pull at my eyes, slowing my fingers as they dash across this keyboard. My intent on writing tonight was to expel poetic nonsense about my sense of self seclusion and lonesome feeling. Yet here I sit, babbling. I guess I just need to keep repeating "It could be worse but I'm glad it's not...." Words by which to live.

It could be worse but I'm glad it's not....

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Tahrea, vegetarian

A few months ago, I started a journey, so to speak. I decided to give up meat, eggs, and (maybe) dairy. I pretty much went cold turkey on eggs, since I didn't consume eggs on a regular basis. It took about a week for me to work myself into a meatless diet. (Dairy? Pfft. I'm typing this as I munch on pasta with Parmesan cheese.) I was pumped about this decision. Even though I am surrounded but borderline carnivores, I have found major support from friends and folks I didn't even know were vegetarians. Since I cannot seem to fully kick dairy, I don't see a complete crossover to veganism in my near future. (Sorry vegans.)

People keep asking me, "Well, what do you eat?" I hate that question almost as bad as "Where do you get your protein?" (What do they say about bringing a knife to a gun fight?) Don't ask a vegetarian (or a vegan) either of those questions. They are ignorant questions. Since the switch, I've found that humans put meat and cheese in just about EVERYTHING we cook and eat. It's ridiculous! Meat can be replaced by extra veggies, rice, tofu or beans. If you use meats for flavoring purposes, like bacon, you can try bacon bits for salads and a certain amount of liquid smoke. Those are just two substitutions I have found.  I also found a major love for beans (frijoles negros!) and nuts, both an amazing substitute for meat and great sources for protein. (Hah, ignorance!)

If you've been my facebook friend or twitter follower for anytime in the past few months, you will have noticed the random food and vegetarian related postings. I know it seems odd to post a picture of my lunch, but there is a method to my madness. 1.) I decided to document my journey into this widely known yet misunderstood realm of life. 2.) I wanted to show that vegetarians can eat and eat well. I'm not exactly trying to flaunt it or shove it in people's faces but rather share and enlighten. People eat before they think, stuffing themselves with unknown garbage and then wonder why they feel sickly or why they are borderline obese. It is not a mystery. Another reason why I chose this lifestyle was because I wanted to find ways of eating healthier and smarter. For the past three months, I have gone through a drive-thru twice. Twice. Once in late August and once last week. Both times for a mini blizzard from DQ (ARGH Dairy!). That's it, and that says a lot because I'm constantly on the go, driving between work, home, teaching, rehearsal, and church. I have started making meals and eating at home a lot more than before. I have found that if I choose my own ingredients and make it myself I have a better grasp on what exactly I am putting in my body. In my research and reading ( MAN, have I researched this stuff) I have found a lot of great recipes and substitutes and I've also made up some dishes of my own. :o) It is empowering to be able to know that I'm doing something worthwhile for my body, bettering myself and my life. It has been a major confidence boost and it is exciting! 

"You are what you eat" carries a different tune here. If you consume crap (pop, foods of unknown origin, meat) you will feel like crap. You can/will feel sluggish, fat, unmotivated, and sick. If you eat healthier you can feel healthier. You only have one life here on this planet. Why bog it down with unnecessary stress on your body and on your mind? Honestly, I'm not out to change the world with this lifestyle change. You, my friends, will each choose to eat what you what and believe what you want, just as I do. But please be smart. Love your bodies.

Happy National Vegetarian Month! 

(Please recognize that I'm not joining PETA, this is not a religious decision, and it is not based on animal cruelty. Though I am disgusted with the way animals are treated in the process, and I COULD go on about my opinions and findings on THAT subject, that is not the initial reason behind my change.)