I have no part to call my own...

Being the overly dramatic person I am, I just wrote this.
It's a poem, but I imagine a VERY dramatic character in some dramedy singing this song in lament...
It would be along the same lines of "Diva's Lament/What Ever Happened to My part" from Spamalot, now that I think of it....

I have no part to call my own...
The play is over...
I have no home...
The crowd's applauded...
the curtain is drawn...
I have no part to call my own...

For many months,
I had a name...
I was someone else...
For many months,
I had a second family.
Now, of course, I find I am lost
What's a diva to do?
without a play...
without a part...
without direction...
Without a clue...

I have no part to call my own...
The costume's hung...
Somehow I have to move on...
We took our bow...
Everyone has gone home...
I have no part to call my own.

Be careful of what you do before the lie becomes the truth....

Tears for Fears' song "Mad world" is randomly going through my head right now...
Just thought I'd share that.

As I sit here drinking the remains of my fourth glasses of Arbor Mist, I realized something....
I didn't get but five minutes from the rest of the cast before the depressive mood set in.
You know, that sad longing and realization that it is all over...
Our last production was tonight.
We tore down the set.
We gathered up the props and costumes.
We rode back to Groveport.
We kissed and hugged.
We all went our separate ways...
I felt alone.
Abandoned.
Without a home to call my own.
Well...
Part of me does.
The other part of me is happy to get back to my version of a normal life.
I'm glad to get back to have free evenings and whatnot, but, honestly, I'll still go through withdrawal.
I'm left with a void.
Ugh.
I hate this feeling.
Luckily, I have my sights set on auditions for "Little Johnny Jones" within the next month, and I'll be able to go see a couple of shows before then, so I'll be able to satify part of my need for theatre.
PART of it....
Sweet Rick Moore is in LTOB's production of "Blithe Spirit" and Danielle, who played Goneril, will be in Raconteur's "Mom and Pop."
YAY!
Plus, I'm preparing for my "Treasure Island" adventure which starts in January.
I can't believe it is only a few months away.
Time flies so fast when one isn't paying attention....

Still, I shall miss my friends and cast members of "Lear."
I think we all learned a lot about each other and ourselves with this production.
I know I learned a great deal about this production, especially since I knew little to nothing about it when I first auditioned for it....
Now I feel like somewhat of an expert, having gone over and through it so many times.
Man.
What a great show.
We received such great feedback from audience members.
We had a great show.
A great cast.
A great director.
And we all shared a great understanding for the show itself.
Looking back, we really were great together...
Onstage, stage that is....
Not everyone got along during rehearsals and backstage, but I think that THAT actually just added to the show.
*SIGH*
I personally think it was the best production in which I had ever performed.
I shall miss it dearly...
Luckily, I made friends and connections in this productions that shall not be forgotten or severed for a long time...
Whether those involved like it or not.


And now...
I leave you with the words of one of my favorite songs...

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be. And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be. For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer. let it be. Let it be, let it be, ..... And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be. I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, let it be, .....

Did you see me breathing?

I have a rant, but I'll hold off just long enough to tell you of an interesting story....
After the play tonight we the cast went over to Little Italy, as usual.
We had a marvelous time laughing, eating, and drinking.
After a while, we all went our separate ways.
As we were walking to our separate vehicles, Garison hissed at Lynn, Manny, and I to quickly move to where he was standing, which was behind the van next to Manny's car.
As we did so, he pointed out a young woman several yards ahead of us in the parking lot.
To our shock, this young woman was... urinating in the parking lot up against a truck.
I lie not.
She was in a squatting position, and was quite... bare.....
It was special.
A few minutes later, Danielle calls me to tell me of her fun tale.
As SHE was making her way to her vehicle, an apparently drunken old man presented her with the proposition of sexual intercourse...
Of course, he used much more colorful language and slurred a lot.
I believe his opening statement to her was, "I could just totally F#@% you right now...."
CLASSY.
Groveport's finest certainly does love to flaunt its charms afterhours...

Now for my rant.
*AHEM*
In this production, Danielle and I are dragged out on blankets in the last scene.
And we're "dead."
This is the first time I've ever had to... for lack of better terms "play dead," so I've been kinda playing with it, trying to control my breathing, and, for the most part, I thought I had done a pretty good job.
Then I asked mom last Saturday, after the performance, "Did you see me breathing?"
She said, "I could tell you were trying to control it."
AKA yes, yes I did.
Thanks to this conversation, plus one of my many BFs with Danielle (BF is Bitch fit, for those of you who haven't seen White Girls), I realized something.
We're in a play.
We are actors.
We are pretending to be these people.
I'm not really Regan.
Danielle and Aaron don't really go off stage and do the bad thing.
Doug isn't really going crazy.
Harlow doesn't really gouge out Keith's eyes with his bare hands.
I don't really KILL anyone.
Therefore, I don't really die.
AKA who the heck cares if I'm laying there breathing????
Seriously.
I mean, as long as I'm laying there, not moving, not scratching my nose or laughing at the other actor's lines, or laughing at Danielle, I'm obviously portraying the fact that Regan is dead.
There you go.
That's all that needs to be done.
It's acting.
Ha.
Laurence Olivier once looked at Dustin Hoffman and said, "Dear boy, why don't you try acting? It's so much easier."
Of course, the reason why Sir Laurence said that was because Dustin H. was torturing himself as a.... *SHUDDER* method actor.
Method actors....
UGH.
That's another rant in and of itself.
My point in bringing that up is that it's acting.
IF you are an actor, act.
It's not that hard.

I don't really know how to end this so I'm just going to say good night now.
I am tired and do not wish to type any longer.
Night.

It was payneful...

Mom and I recently went to see a movie together.
Being the ever typical women we are, we were split between "Max Payne" and " the Haunting of Molly Bartley."
Max Payne won.
In a manner of speaking.
First of all, mom and I, for some reason or another, were under the impression that this Max Payne was a comic book character.
Secondly, knowing nothing about the story and having to rely only on the previews on the TV, we were under the impression the story had to do with spiritual warfare, i.e. angels, demons, heaven, hell.
Kind of a spin off on Constantine.
That is clearly the vibe you get from the previews, where you see huge black, winged creatures flying around, and you hear a man's voice saying, "The Devil is building his army.... Max Payne is looking for something Heaven doesn't want to be found..."
Then the movie opens up with Mark Walberg's voice saying, "I don't believe in heaven...."
SO.
Imagine our surprise when we find out the movie is about drugs and government cover ups.
Oh, keep in mind how much we dislike Mark Walberg because of his inability to act.
Or entertain.
I was actually writing this blog in my head as I was watching the movie, if that tells you anything....
Ooh, Max Payne is all hard and wears a black leather coat.
OOh, he's a vigilante of sorts.
OOh, he takes the law in his own hands.
Ooh, his wife and child were killed and the bad guy got away? No way!
OOh, his ex-partner was played by a funny man from a sitcom.
Ooh, he has personal conflict with his old partner and that's why they are together anymore.
Ooh, he buries himself in his work....
Ooh, He never smiles the entire movie, except to a flashback where he smiles like he's mentally disabled.... That is until he realizes some broke in and killed his wife and child... Then he's hard like the streets.
Ooh, his wife was killed because of a government cover up.
Ooh, the person he trusted the most was the one who killed his wife and child...
Oh, and Beau Bridges.
LOL.
Beau Bridges' lines were hilarious.
When he wasn't asking Max "Where are you going?" he was saying cheesy lines like "He's my old partner's kid. He's family. Take care of him..."
BLEH.
The only thing about this movie that surprised me was the fact that Max Payne was trying to drown himself in either alcohol or sex.
Good Freaking Grief.
When the movie finally ended (Let me just say the last scene just epitomized the entire movie in its hilarity) I laughed.
I annoyed the tar out of mom because I laughed out of the theatre, into the restroom and out into the car.
I laughed.
It was ridiculous.
I will say that I was surprised to see Mila Kuniz doing a serious role.
Not bad, Mila.
Not bad at all.
Oh, and some rapper.... Ludacriz or something like that played this detective.
When I read that, I turned to mom and said, "Oh, that explains it."
Bad acting....
Ugh.
Bad Hollywood.
Deceiving us like that.
Bad.
Bad.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Now go stand in the corner, you naughty, naughty form of entertainment...

Give me a sedative

Give me a sedative
send me to bed and never
wake me up to tell me how you
love me
Kiss me on my forehead don't
kill me before you have to go
break me into pieces
crush me into ashes
Spread me over and over the water
sing me a song between the laughter
Give me a sedative
Never leave me
and deceive me
keep me thinking I'm the one that
never should have come back
Give me a sedative
Keep me from pounding my head against the wall
keep me sober
turn me over
make sure I'm breathing as you are leaving
Lie to me
just read my poetry
open me up to understand the complex intricacies
that are me...

Just. Go. Vote.

I voted.
Mom and I woke upt at 9-something, and went to Walnut Elementary to vote.
We stood in line for all of 5 minutes, and then voted.
We spent about 11 minutes there in the building.
I voted!
On some of the issues I wasn't as aware as I should have been, but that's why they give you a short summary on the issues to read there, right???
I'm so glad it's election day.
I am so sick of the political advertisements on TV.
They really get out of hand with these freaking ads.
Now, thank goodness, they will go away.
Now, we have the stories and stories and stories of the myriad of mistakes, misvotes, and misprints to which we have to look forward...
Yay...
I can't wait.

I have to say last night I found myself torn...
I was torn about for whom I was going to vote...
I mean, I've been raised in a household that has mostly leaned towards the republican point of view.....
I've been raised by moral values voters.
So it basically came down to killing babies or economic struggle......
Tough choice.....
My best friend told this morning that she had a huge sheet of paper upon which she had scrolled her likes and dislikes about the two main candidates.
Then she said, "I might have to go Ralph Nader. That guy just doesn't quit."
lol.
Sweet Samantha....
She also said something to the effect of, "...because my one vote is going to decide the whole election."
At this point, though, to each individual american with a political opinion, it probably does matter for whom you vote (Myself included), I'm just going to say that if you are registered to vote, then go VOTE.
PERIOD.

Now, I'm going to get off my mini soapbox and curl up into a sickly ball on the couch.

The afterthought.....

Weekend one of King Lear is done.
It went well.
There were some goof-ups, but that comes with the territory.
Overall, it was good.
Yeah....
Something I was grateful for yet still made me laugh was that someone decided to put a synopsis of the show in the program.
Genius idea, says I.
I know a few audience members made reference to this more than once during their watching the show.
I know I've been to a few shows that WEREN'T Shakespeare for which I needed a guide to tell me what the heck was going on.
So yeah...
The first part is over...
Now all I have to do is wait for Wednesday, for brush-up....
*SIGH*